Role reversal
by IBrakeForHallucinations
Summary: JXHQ - Joker needs a shower. Full story WIP.


AN: A chapter from my longer story, still a WIP. Critique, review, etc. :)

* * *

**Role reversal **

"Good morning, Joker." Harleen smiled, quickly seating herself across from him on the large red chair. He wiggled his toes and shifted uncomfortably in his straight jacket, eyes cast down at her black heels.

"Yup." a gruff reply.

Harleen cleared her throat; started: "How are you today?"

"It's Monday."

"Yes." Harleen waited for him to continue.

He gave a rough sigh. "Fine."

"At least it's not a bad Monday."

"I'm in here. Every Monday is a bad Monday."

"How was your breakfast?"

"Disgusting."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, doc. You didn't cook it."

"I could talk to Doctor Arkham; see if the catering can-"

"Save your breath, doll face. Arkham doesn't give two shits what the patients eat. As long as they're not dieing of hunger he won't get in trouble."

"Not true. Doctor Arkham cares deeply for all his patients."

"Who told you that, Arkham himself? Next time read him instead of just listening to him."

Harleen frowned. "Did you sleep well?" she continued scribbling.

"I don't want to do this today."

Harleen looked up. "You mean therapy?"

"All of it. I'm done with this place."

"You do know your saying this out loud."

"Yes." Joker opened his eyes. "What of it?"

"Suppose I tell Doctor Arkham of today's session."

He laughed. "You won't."

"How do you know?"

"You haven't told him much anyway. I would have been under much more security by now if you had. Considering I've been given privileges since you became my doctor, I'm not too worried about anyone finding out anything."

Harleen knew he was right. She wouldn't tell. She feared it would compromise their trust; and her almost finished book. She had worked hard to drill into that mad mind and keeping a tighter hold on the chain would only make him retaliate. Even _she_ didn't want that. She was struck with indecision.

"How about we do role reversal. We could mix things up." Harleen perked.

"You want to be the patient?" He laughed again. "Go ahead, take my place. I'd switch anytime."

"Well, you could ask me some questions and I'd answer them as truthfully as I can."

The Joker pondered this, knowing it would be fun to poke her buttons; he shot upright and situated himself.

"What's your first question?" Harleen smiled.

Joker looked her over saw the diamond on her finger. A part of him irritated that she flaunted such a lie in front of him; another in rage that he cared. Keeping is usual calm demeanor, Joker started personal.

"You married?" He asked.

"Yes. It was official a few months before I became your doctor."

"What's he look like? Is he ugly?"

Harleen scoffed: "No! He happens to be a very handsome man with outstanding credentials."

"You married for looks and money then."

"No! Don't ask about my husband."

He grit his teeth. "What does handsome man do?"

"None of your business."

"No?"

"I don't talk about my personal life with my patients."

"So I'm a patient now? I thought we were role reversing."

"No, your still a patient. I never said you could ask about my home life."

"You never specified."

"I didn't think I had to."

"With me you shouldn't expect much humility."

"Your just like the rest."

"The rest?"

"I've told Crane. I've told Ms. Isley, no personal questions."

"Crane is a nut. Called him doll once; he wasn't too happy bout it. Got in a nasty fight. He can fight, did you know? Like a ninja in a movie. Wonder why he took up psychology in the first place. He's lucky we don't share the same floor."

"Yes, well, you're a special kind of patient."

"Keep stroking my ego, doc, I love it." He moaned.

Harleen rolled her eyes.

"So Harley-"

"Doctor Quinzel!" she interrupted.

"Harlequin Intern Doctor bore fest whatever your name is…can I ask another question, or is this session going to be more boring than the last."

Harleen sighed. "Maybe I should have you under more security to entertain you."

"With all the security it's like a prison."

"Ms. Isley believes she's a prisoner." Harleen interjected.

"Pam-eh-la is a spit fire. You can tell, she's a red head. Though I'm not entirely sure that's her real hair color. It's a wonder she's not on constant lockdown like me. Even Crow is gets more privileges than me."

"His name is Jonathan Crane."

"At this point I don't give a fuck what anyone's name is."

"What about yours?"

"Mine is whatever I want it to be, whatever suits me best at said time."

"Do you have one today?"

He leaned back. Harleen could see the wheels turning until finally receiving an answer.

"No. Joker suits me well for today. I feel like one."

"I noticed."

"Can I ask you another question now?"

"Go right ahead."

His voice darkened; something sinister took over. "You wanna know how I got these scars?" he leaned forward.

She frowned, knowing this question had no real answer. "No."

The Joker huffed: "No? Not even a little curious?"

"You can't blame people for being curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Yes, well, I'm not feline so I'm not too worried about it."

The Joker giggled.

"Your more fun when your irritated, Harley. You've got an attitude that matches mine. Same kinda humor, you know? Same kinda mindset. I feel a connection, don't you?"

"Not even the slightest amount."

Joker's face fell: "You can't deny we don't banter well. Like a married couple. Probably have more in common with me than that 'husband' of yours. All you have to do is cook me a steak, fuck well, and we're set."

"Are you done with your questions?"

"Am I too crude for ya? Don't like being probed, Doc? Now you know how it feels."

"I don't probe you."

"No, your right. You just constantly babble."

"Then I guess we can try Dr. Arkham's silent treatment and see how you do then."

"No thanks."

But like any silence, an awkward silence made Joker feel worse. He didn't like where this conversation had ended; certainly did not want to pick back up on it either. He tried another topic. One that would favor him more than it would her; in more ways than she would realize.

"Do you like to shower?"

Harleen flushed: "I'm not answering that. We're not role reversing anymore, stop asking me questions."

"It was harmless."

"It's perverted."

"You don't like that?"

"No."

He frowned: "Liar. Such a stick in the mud. I don't ask questions without a point you know."

"What was this one's?"

He rolled his eyes: "Your so stupid, girl! Think, figure it out! Why do I have to spell it out for you?"

Harleen didn't understand. Was there really a double meaning for the question, or was he picturing her naked. She couldn't help but feel flattered if he was, or disgusted; the feeling was funny. She answered.

"Yes, I like showers, do you?"

"I love them!" he cheered. "So much so, I become irritated when I don't have one."

"When was the last time you had one?"

His face was blank. "What day is it?"

"July 16th."

"Uh…a month ago."

"What?! A month?!"

"I'm not well liked here if you haven't noticed."

"That's inexcusable! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Well, if you want to set a date I'd be happy to milk companies rarities for cleanliness. Even I'm starting to feel disgusting and that's saying something."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"What's the fun in that?"

Harleen was beyond reasoning with him. She called the guards and ordered a shower fit for a king.

Following down the hall she watched as the Joker remained silent the entire time. When they reached the showers, Harleen instructed they use care and allow him the comfort of privacy.

"He'll still need to be watched, Doctor Quinzel."

"I understand."

"Thanks for the free ticket, Harley girl. I'll be sure to repay you later." he winked and licked his lips before being shoved through the doors.

Harleen turned as his laughter rung in her ears. She could feel a migraine coming on.

* * *

Thanks for reading :) Full story coming soon!


End file.
